Language can be a tricky subject when we are talking about

differences in how we look, believe, talk, behave, and live. In college, I was

taught Person-first language by a professor who had a passion for using the right language all the time. He happened to use a wheelchair to get around. He told us the sins of saying the “R” word and convinced me that Person-first was the most respectful way to refer to people. Because truly we are people first. I am a believer. I taught Person-first language at camp for decades. I taught it and practiced it. It became the foundation for how I referred to people of all abilities.

Not too long ago I was introduced to Identity-first language.

I said, “Really”? After years of using Person-first language I was a bit confused and wondered how I could change because my goal has always

been to be as respectful as possible. It did not make sense to my brain that had been marinated in Person-first language for so long.

 Just so we are clear on the definitions.

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Person-first language: Emphasizes the person first, then the disability (e.g., "a

person who is deaf" or "a person with a spinal cord injury").

Identity-first language: Identifies the disability first (e.g., "deaf person" or

"autistic person").

But, of course, people who prefer Identity-first language embrace

their disability as a significant part of who they are. They are proud of who

they are and want their diagnosis included in the conversation. I love and respect that. I also love and respect those who prefer not to be defined by their disability. We all have ways we like to be addressed and referred to whether it be our given name, a nickname, gender pronouns, or family title (e.g., mama, mom, grandma, nanny, etc.}. For the record I prefer Mama and GiGi.

Using the right words shows that we respect people enough to know themselves and allows us to honor their humanity and rights as a person. Knowing ourselves takes a lifetime and one of the best ways we can support people in this journey is by using their preferred words.

At camp I began to teach Person-first and Identity-first language.

I also taught:

Ask if unsure: If you're unsure of an individual's preference, it's always best to ask politely how they prefer to be identified.

Respect their choice: Don't correct or admonish someone if they choose to if their language preferences differ from what you're used to.

It is OK to make mistakes. Change can be hard and there is grace in putting in the effort to create more respect in the world is a beautiful thing.

Just imagine how you might feel if your name was Sally, but everyone called you Jeff. Maybe you would laugh along at first but eventually you might get upset, especially if you have been clear that you want

to be called Sally. We all deserve respect.

When you think about it, changing our words to allow in respect is a small act but one that has lasting effects on our communities and hopefully, the world. A little more respect for others can only be a welcome thing.

Peace,

Angi