These past few days I have been noticing how we as humans attempt to communicate and as many things do, it got me to thinking about camp. I have some examples.

Just today I was hanging out with my grands, they are four, three, and one. We were getting ready to go to the park and if you know anything about leaving the house with children you know that it is its own event. I had the baby on my hip, the oldest was getting her shoes on and I was very poorly trying to get the middle to use the bathroom. My attempt was one I know does not work but still comes out sometimes. I lofted words toward her, over the kitchen counter. I was not especially frustrated, just busy and as you may have guessed, it was not working. She was very involved with some marbles and felt strongly that she needed to pack them to go with her. I am not a rookie, but this is a rookie mistake.

I stopped, took a breath and went over to her. I gently explained that the marbles had to stay home. She agreed and we put them in a safe place so she can have them when she returns. The next step was to go potty. We talked about not having wet undies and the benefits of going before you leave the house. She went.

It was quite easy when I sat with her and said many of the same words that I had lofted only moments before. By moving my body and moving closer in proximity to my grand I was able to help her transition smoothly and happily.

Another example. When visiting a friend who lives near a youth development agency, I witnessed adults interacting with teens as they were preparing to leave for what looked like a field trip. Words lofted over the kids’ heads, and they never made it to their ears. I did not see how long it took to get the teens on board, but I saw their faces and felt for the leaders. It seemed they were going to be there for a while.

In this scenario, I thought about how we do things at camp. We always sit in circles. Sitting in circles is miraculous for sharing information or front loading. I imagined the leaders at the agency walking the teens to a grassy spot, sitting down, making it so the leaders were between some kids so they could easily redirect those who were feeling squirrely. The leaders would have a list of what they needed to share, a loud but kind voice, and would make room for questions.

I have seen this work many times.

I have come to learn that we think we are saving time or that in some way it is more efficient by using our voices in front of a group. Culturally, this is how it is done in schools, teachers at the front of the room. But at camp we have the blissful knowledge that moving towards people and sharing their space in a circle is the time saver and more importantly people listen, feel prepared, and feel understood.

My lesson this morning is one I will take with me (until I likely make the mistake again). We are only human and everything feels extra important when we lead people, so we don’t always choose the best ways to communicate even when we know them.

If you are already acquainted with proximity and circles, I applaud you, and if you know and forget sometimes, that is OK too. Maybe the words on this page can be a bit of a reminder.

If you are not acquainted with proximity and sitting in circles, I highly recommend them. Teach it to your leadership team, to your counselors, really anyone who needs to know.

And if you need some ideas on how to teach these concepts, let me know.

Peace,

Angi